The Dawn of Twilight

So today I came across Stephenie Meyer's explanation for writing Twilight....and found it truly inspiring. As a mom who likes to write and just signed my kids up for swimming lessons...I can totally relate. Oh and a side note? My name is Carol. But please don't call me Rosalie. ;)

From stepheniemeyer.com:

The Story Behind Twilight

I get a ton of questions about how I came up with the story of Twilight and how I got it published. I may be killing my FAQ page by doing this, but here is the whole story:

(Warning: there are Twilight spoilers contained in the following; if you don't want to ruin the suspense, stop reading.....now. Warning #2: As you might have guessed from the length of my book, I can't tell a short story—this is going to take a while. You have been warned.)

The Writing: I know the exact date that I began writing Twilight, because it was also the first day of swim lessons for my kids. So I can say with certainty that it all started on June 2, 2003. Up to this point, I had not written anything besides a few chapters (of other stories) that I never got very far on, and nothing at all since the birth of my first son, six years earlier.

I woke up (on that June 2nd) from a very vivid dream. In my dream, two people were having an intense conversation in a meadow in the woods. One of these people was just your average girl. The other person was fantastically beautiful, sparkly, and a vampire. They were discussing the difficulties inherent in the facts that A) they were falling in love with each other while B) the vampire was particularly attracted to the scent of her blood, and was having a difficult time restraining himself from killing her immediately. For what is essentially a transcript of my dream, please see Chapter 13 ("Confessions") of the book.

Though I had a million things to do (i.e. making breakfast for hungry children, dressing and changing the diapers of said children, finding the swimsuits that no one ever puts away in the right place, etc.), I stayed in bed, thinking about the dream. I was so intrigued by the nameless couple's story that I hated the idea of forgetting it; it was the kind of dream that makes you want to call your friend and bore her with a detailed description. (Also, the vampire was just so darned good-looking, that I didn't want to lose the mental image.) Unwillingly, I eventually got up and did the immediate necessities, and then put everything that I possibly could on the back burner and sat down at the computer to write—something I hadn't done in so long that I wondered why I was bothering. But I didn't want to lose the dream, so I typed out as much as I could remember, calling the characters "he" and "she."

From that point on, not one day passed that I did not write something. On bad days, I would only type out a page or two; on good days, I would finish a chapter and then some. I mostly wrote at night, after the kids were asleep so that I could concentrate for longer than five minutes without being interrupted. I started from the scene in the meadow and wrote through to the end. Then I went back to the beginning and wrote until the pieces matched up. I drove the "golden spike" that connected them in late August, three months later.

It took me a while to find names for my anonymous duo. For my vampire (who I was in love with from day one) I decided to use a name that had once been considered romantic, but had fallen out of popularity for decades. Charlotte Bronte's Mr. Rochester and Jane Austen's Mr. Ferrars were the characters that led me to the name Edward. I tried it on for size, and found that it fit well. My female lead was harder. Nothing I named her seemed just right. After spending so much time with her, I loved her like a daughter, and no name was good enough. Finally, inspired by that love, I gave her the name I was saving for my daughter, who had never shown up and was unlikely to put in an appearance at this point: Isabella. Huzzah! Edward and Bella were named. For the rest of the characters, I did a lot of searching in old census records, looking for popular names in the times that they'd been born. Some trivia: Rosalie was originally "Carol" and Jasper was first "Ronald." I like the new names much better, but every now and then I will slip up and type Carol or Ron by accident. It really confuses the people who read my rough drafts.

For my setting, I knew I needed someplace ridiculously rainy. I turned to Google, as I do for all my research needs, and looked for the place with the most rainfall in the U.S. This turned out to be the Olympic Peninsula in Washington State. I pulled up maps of the area and studied them, looking for something small, out of the way, surrounded by forest... And there, right where I wanted it to be, was a tiny town called "Forks." It couldn't have been more perfect if I had named it myself. I did a Google image search on the area, and if the name hadn't sold me, the gorgeous photographs would have done the trick. (Images like these of the Hoh Rainforest (a short drive from Forks). Also see forks-web.com ). In researching Forks, I discovered the La Push Reservation, home to the Quileute Tribe. The Quileute story is fascinating, and a few fictional members of the tribe quickly became intrinsic to my story.

All this time, Bella and Edward were, quite literally, voices in my head. They simply wouldn't shut up. I'd stay up as late as I could stand trying to get all the stuff in my mind typed out, and then crawl, exhausted, into bed (my baby still wasn't sleeping through the night, yet) only to have another conversation start in my head. I hated to lose anything by forgetting, so I'd get up and head back down to the computer. Eventually, I got a pen and notebook for beside my bed to jot notes down so I could get some freakin' sleep. It was always an exciting challenge in the morning to try to decipher the stuff I'd scrawled across the page in the dark.

During the day, I couldn't stay away from the computer, either. When I was stuck at swim lessons, out in 115 degrees of Phoenix sunshine, I would plot and scheme and come home with so much new stuff that I couldn't type fast enough. It was your typical Arizona summer, hot, sunny, hot, and hot, but when I think back to those three months, I remember rain and cool green things, like I really spent the summer in the Olympic Rainforest.

When I'd finished the body of the novel, I started writing epilogues...lots of epilogues. This eventually clued me in to the fact that I wasn't ready to let go of my characters, and I started working on the sequel. Meanwhile, I continued to edit Twilight in a very obsessive-compulsive way.

My older sister, Emily, was the only one who really knew what I was up to. In June, I'd started sending her chapters as I finished them, and she soon became my cheerleading section. She was always checking in to see if I had something new for her. It was Emily who first suggested, after I'd finished, that I should try to get Twilight published. I was so stunned by the fact that I'd actually finished a whole, entire book, that I decided to look into it.

Getting Published: To put it mildly, I was naive about publishing. I thought it worked like this: you printed a copy of your novel, wrapped it up in brown paper, and sent it off to a publishing house. Ho ho ho, that's a good one. I started googling (naturally) and began to discover that this was not the way it is done. (Movies lie to us! Why?! A side note: you will not be able to enjoy the new Steve Martin version of Cheaper by the Dozen when you know how insanely impossible the publishing scenario it contains is.) The whole set up with query letters, literary agents, simultaneous submissions vs. exclusive submissions, synopsizes, etc., was extremely intimidating, and I almost quit there. It certainly wasn't belief in my fabulous talent that made me push forward; I think it was just that I loved my characters so much, and they were so real to me, that I wanted other people to know them, too.

I subscribed to WritersMarket.com and compiled a list of small publishers that accepted unsolicited submissions and a few literary agencies. It was around this time that my little sister, Heidi, mentioned Janet Evanovich's website to me. In her Q and A for writers section, Janet E. mentioned Writers House, among a few others, as "the real thing" in the world of literary agencies. Writers House went on my wish list as the most desirable and also least likely.

I sent out around fifteen queries (and I still get residual butterflies in my stomach when I drive by the mailbox I sent the letters from—mailing them was terrifying.). I will state, for the record, that my queries truly sucked, and I don't blame anyone who sent me a rejection (I did get seven or eight of those. I still have them all, too). The only rejection that really hurt was from a small agent who actually read the first chapter before she dropped the axe on me. The meanest rejection I got came after Little, Brown had picked me up for a three-book deal, so it didn't bother me at all. I'll admit that I considered sending back a copy of that rejection stapled to the write-up my deal got in Publisher's Weekly, but I took the higher road.

My big break came in the form of an assistant at Writers House named Genevieve. I didn't find out until much later just how lucky I was; it turns out that Gen didn't know that 130,000 words is a whole heck of a lot of words. If she'd known that 130K words would equal 500 pages, she probably wouldn't have asked to see it. But she didn't know (picture me wiping the sweat from my brow), and she did ask for the first three chapters. I was thrilled to get a positive response, but a little worried because I felt the beginning of the book wasn't the strongest part. I mailed off those three chapters and got a letter back a few weeks later (I could barely get it open, my hands were so weak with fear). It was a very nice letter. She'd gone back with a pen and twice underlined the part where she'd typed how much she enjoyed the first three chapters (I still have that letter, of course), and she asked for the whole manuscript. That was the exact moment when I realized that I might actually see Twilight in print, and really one of the happiest points in my whole life. I did a lot of screaming.

About a month after I sent in the manuscript, I got a call from Jodi Reamer, an honest to goodness literary agent, who wanted to represent my book. I tried really hard to sound like a professional and a grownup during that conversation, but I'm not sure if I fooled her. Again, my luck was tremendous (and I don't usually have good luck—I've never won anything in my life, and no one ever catches a fish when I'm in the boat) because Jodi is the uber-agent. I couldn't have ended up in better hands. She's part lawyer, part ninja (she's working on earning her black belt right now, no kidding), a pretty amazing editor in her own right, and a great friend.

Jodi and I worked for two weeks on getting Twilight into shape before sending it to editors. The first thing we worked on was the title, which started out as Forks (and I still have a teeny soft spot for that name). Then we polished up a few rough spots, and Jodi sent it out to nine different publishing houses. This really messed with my ability to sleep, but luckily I wasn't in suspense for long.

Megan Tingley, of Megan Tingley Books, of Little, Brown and Company, read Twilight on a cross-country flight and came back to Jodi the day after the Thanksgiving weekend with a preemptive deal so huge that I honestly thought Jodi was pulling my leg—especially the part where she turned the offer down and asked for more. The upshot was that, by the end of the day, I was trying to process the information that not only was my book going to be published by one of the biggest young adult publishers in the country, but that they were going to pay me for it. For a very long time, I was convinced it was a really cruel practical joke, but I couldn't imagine who would go to these wild extremes to play a hoax on such an insignificant little hausfrau.

And that's how, in the course of six months, Twilight was dreamed, written, and accepted for publication.

Things keep getting crazier, what with the movie deal and all the pre-publication attention that Twilight continues to receive. Though I've gotten impatient from time to time, I'm glad I've had the last two years to try to come to terms with the situation. I'm greatly looking forward to finally having Twilight on the shelves, and more than a little frightened, too. Overall, it's been a true labor of love, love for Edward and Bella and all the rest of my imaginary friends, and I'm thrilled that other people get to meet them now.

I Need Help!

So my friend, Andrea's mom has a home theater in her house. And Andrea just happens to be one of the friends who got me into Twilight. So guess where we'll be watching the DVD next week with a bunch of other obsessed Twilight women? Yup. SICK fun. A bunch of moms with some wine and Edward. It's like a dream...

So of course I just ordered a "Bite Me" t-shirt from Twilightteez.com....so I can wear it to Andrea's house. But that's not even the extent of my sickness. Tonight... I actually pulled out my copy of "Twilight" (purchased after I read the book, just so I could "have it") because I wanted to CROSS CHECK it with a scene in Midnight Sun. CROSS CHECK! You know...the lab scene where the teacher turns on Lorenzo's Oil... and both are loving the fact that the lights are out and they're all up next to each other, wanting to get friendly, but crossing their arms over their chests instead. Yeah. I had to revisit Bella's reaction after (re) reading about Edward's. How POSITIVELY SAD is that?

Eh. Whatever. I'm having too much fun to care!

My Bad

OK so here is a blog that shows we've all had our hats handed to us. Apparently Juan Antonio Bayona has not been offered the job of directing "Eclipse"; he has only had talks with Summit and Stephenie Meyer. That doesn't mean he won't be doing it, only that he hasn't been offered the job (yet, I hope?) The blog entry says - for creative reasons - he isn't sure if he wants to enter the saga in its' third installment...when all the characters and storylines have already been put in place in the previous two installments. Can't say I blame him, but I think I may be disappointed if he doesn't direct. As I said yesterday, I thought the trailer for "The Orphanage" pretty much shows what a beautifully directed film it is. (I'll have to actually see the film to make up my mind for sure.)

One thing I'm happy about ----> this blog post mentions that Stephenie Meyer is very much involved with "key creative choices" on the films. Never before have I cared as much about a film series being as close to the novel series as possible. It would just be a slap in the face if these films veered too far from the original content of the books. It would be - in a weird way - like... insulting Edward Cullen. Or the entire Cullen family for that matter. And nobody wants to do that. Fictitious vampire family or not.

From the LA Times Blog, "The Big Picture" from Patrick Goldstein:

Summit hires new 'Twilight' director, right? Wrong!

05:12 PM PT, Mar 12 2009

I hate to be the skunk at the picnic, but Summit Entertainment has not -- I repeat NOT-- hired "Orphanage" director Juan Antonio Bayona to direct "Eclipse," the third film in the wildly successful “Twilight” series. That would be the exact opposite of the "news" you read earlier today, first in Nikki Finke’s post on Deadline Hollywood and later in Dave McNary's seemingly authoritative Variety story, which baldly stated that Summit "has tapped Spanish director Juan Antonio Bayona to direct 'Eclipse.' "

By sheer coincidence, I had lunch today with Erik Feig, who’s president of production at Summit and the man most involved with managing the hit series of films. ("New Moon," the second film in the series, begins production later this month with Chris Weitz at the helm.)

Feig was shocked to see the media reports saying Summit had hired Bayona, since -- ahem -- they’re not true. "The 'Eclipse' directing job hasn’t been offered to Juan Antonio or anyone else," he told me. "We’ve met with three or four talented filmmakers and we’ll be meeting with three or four more other candidates before we make any decision. No one has been offered the job."

Feig added that no one even bothered to call to check out the rumors before printing them, something that has become an all-too-often occurrence in the Wild West free-for-all that constitutes today’s Web-based entertainment coverage. "Nikki never called Summit or any of the producers, and Variety ran it off her blog without calling us either, which I find doubly irresponsible." (In fairness, McNary did call Summit’s PR rep, who would not confirm the story.)

The fact that the initial stories were erroneous didn’t stop everyone else on the Web -- including many of my favorite blogs -- from not only linking to them, but rewriting them in a way that repeated the falsehood. That includes everyone from the Vulture, whose post was headlined "Juan Antonio Bayona to Direct 'Twilight 3,' " to our own Hero Complex, which led its account by saying: “It’s official, according to the trades, the filmmaker behind the hypnotic horror film, 'The Orphanage,' will be brought in for the third 'Twilight' film."

I mean, if you can’t trust the Hollywood trades, who can you trust, right? As it turns out, Bayona was in town and had a Wednesday meeting with Summit execs, who are certainly impressed by his resume. Bayona has also met with "Twilight" author Stephenie Meyer, who has a lot to say about any key creative choices made on each film in the series. On the other hand, Bayona has told friends that he isn’t sure he wants to tackle the film. Though he also admires the series, he's concerned about how much creative involvement he would have coming in to direct the third installment in a series, where most of the casting and character development is already in place.

The real lesson here: The madcap pace of the Web, where everyone gets hits by linking to newsie items about cultural hot buttons, is creating an environment where you have to check stories out before you reprint them -- or you end up with egg on your face. (Trust me -- it's happened to me too.) This is just the latest example of a story that was good but, alas, too good to actually be true.

"Turnaround, party of 1?"

I have done a complete 180 regarding my opinion about Juan Antonio Bayona directing "Eclipse". After much consideration; I'm likin' it. And I think I'm likin' it a lot. Eclipse was the one novel that didn't knock the wind out of me like the other three did in spots. I think it needs the horror edge. And after watching his trailer for "The Orphanage" (watch below), I'm completely convinced Bayona will give the film that edge it needs. Amid the creepiness seems to be some beautiful camera work. (But don't push it. The scariest moment will still be when Bella spitefully sleeps on Edward's couch instead of the brand new bed he bought for her. Moron.)

From today's LA Times:

'Twilight' fans, beware: The third film just got a LOT creepier

07:10 AM PT, Mar 12 2009

It's official, according to the trades, the filmmaker behind the hypnotic horror film "The Orphanage" (shown above) will be brought in for the third "Twilight" film. The second movie in the franchise, "New Moon," is due in theaters in November and the third, "Eclipse," is two years out. Here's an excerpt from Dave McNary's story:

Summit Entertainment has tapped Spanish director Juan Antonio Bayona to direct "Eclipse," the third pic in the "Twilight" vampire series.

Summit, which had no comment Wednesday, is expected to make the official announcement soon. The minimajor recently gave "Eclipse" a release date of June 30, 2010.

Bayona's a protege of Guillermo Del Toro. He directed the Spanish-language horror-thriller "The Orphanage," which was exec produced by Del Toro, and is attached to helm the Universal thriller "Hater," with Del Toro and Mark Johnson producing.

Summit's opted for a different director on each "Twilight" pic. Chris Weitz replaced "Twilight" director Catherine Hardwicke on "New Moon."

This promises to take the franchise into some very interesting directions. "Twilight" fans, check out my in-depth 2007 feature on Bayona and the "The Orphanage" to get a sense of the dark place your favorite vamps are headed ... and here's the trailer for "The Orphanage"...

-- Geoff Boucher
Photos: "The Orphanage." Credit: Picturehouse Entertainment

This...scares me.

I, too, fear these films are going to be too "rushed". I haven't even seen Twilight yet, and I'm siding with Catherine Hardwicke on this one. And....making into a...horror? Eclipse? Isn't that a horror in-and-of itself? Do we not remember Bella cruising back and forth between Forks and La Push 80 million times and never having a problem? Where's the horror in that? The only horror I remember was Bella being a dope and leaving Alice's slumber party so she could go see Jacob. And don't even get me started on her not sleeping in Edward's new bed...

From Eonline:

Is Team Twilight ready to ratchet up the fright factor?

The latest name to emerge in the directing derby for the bloodsucking franchise's third installment, Eclipse, is Spanish helmer Juan Antonio Bayona, a protégé of Guillermo del Toro (Hellboy) best known for the stylish scarefest The Orphanage.

Per the Hollywood Reporter, Bayona joins a list of possible directors that also includes Drew Barrymore, James Mangold (Walk the Line) and Paul Weitz, brother of New Moon director Chris Weitz.

Although he's never directed an English-language film, Bayona apparently is being considered for his ability to handle the horror genre. Eclipse features an army of newborn vampires hunting down Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), culminating in a showdown with Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and the werewolves.

After piloting Twilight, Catherine Hardwicke dropped out over producer Summit Entertainment's desire to rush production on the follow-up, New Moon, and Chris Weitz (The Golden Compass) signed on to direct the sequel, which is set to unspool in November.

No word when a final decision on an Eclipse director will be made. Reports from a Twilight fan site that Paul Weitz was a done deal are not true.

Beauty and the Beast

So last night I'm up in the middle of the night, giving my son Tylenol for the raging fever he's had for the past couple days. And of course, I can't get back to sleep. And of course, I start thinking of Twilight. And the song "Beauty and the Beast" from Stevie Nicks keeps playing in my head (again, showing my age here.) And I feel so strongly about this song and how perfect it would be for New Moon.

I'm going to get a little serious on you here....so just bear with me for a minute or two. I've told a couple friends about one way the Twilight series has affected me....and I suppose it's only fair to share it here. I won't go into details...but suffice to say, I lost my first boyfriend when we were 17. And every year, I get older....and he remains forever 17. That aspect of the Twilight series really bothered me....Edward being forever 17 and the possibility of Bella going on with life and aging without him. And when we were kids, I was a Stevie Nicks fanatic..and one of the songs I always loved...because it reminded me of this boyfriend...was - you guessed it - Beauty and the Beast.

I realize the Twilight films are going to be full of teen angst music (forgive me as I do not mean to offend with that description). But I cannot tell you how much I'd love to see this song involved somewhere in this film. Where Edward leaves Bella....or soon afterward while she's lying in the forest...devastated. Or even at some point in the middle of the film, where she's not letting herself think of him....maybe she has a nightmare and wakes up crying and this song would be running in the background. Or even during the fountain scene, where he's thinking he died and does have a soul afterall. It doesn't even have to be Stevie's version (although hers will always be my favorite). I'd also love to see Edward's piano involved somehow with the song as it has some beautiful piano throughout. OK - I'm rambling - but you get my point. Here are the lyrics...and make sure you click the title above and watch the youtube video of Miss Stevie singing the song at a concert in 2006. You won't be disappointed....

Beauty and the Beast
Written by Stevie Nicks.

You're not a stranger to me
And you... well you're something to see
You don't even know how to please
You say a lot but you're unaware of how to leave

My darling lives in a world that is not mine
An old child, misunderstood, out of time
Timeless is the creature who is wise
And timeless is the prisoner in disguise

Oh who is the beauty? Who the beast?
Would you die of grieving when I leave?
Two children too blind to see
I would fall in your shadow, I believe

My love is a man who's not been tamed
Oh my love lives in a world of false pleasure and pain
We come from different worlds but we are the same
I never doubted your beauty; I've changed

Who is the beauty?
Where is my beast?
There is no beauty
Without my beast

la bete la bete
Where is my beast?

My beauty
My beauty
My beautiful beautiful beautiful
Beautiful beast

Twilight Humor

I cannot stop watching this Twilight Parody. It's absolutely hilarious. And I haven't even seen the movie yet.

So I was reading today that Drew Barrymore is one of the people being considered to direct Eclipse. Hmmm. Not sure how I feel about that. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Drew Barrymore and am usually the first in the theater to enjoy her latest endeavor (except Charlie's Angels. Spit Cough Sputter). But Drew Barrymore for Eclipse? I don't know if that would jive. She's usually so comedic. I'm also bummed Catherine Hardwicke isn't directing New Moon. Will the movies "match up"? Why are they playing Musical Directors with one of the greatest novel-to-film sagas of all time?

Dakota Fanning is Jane!

I think this is perfect casting: http://www.aceshowbiz.com/news/view/00022617.html

4th Most Eligible Bachelor

So apparently Rob Pattinson was named Buddy TV's 4th Most Eligible Bachelor. Good for him, seeing as he's NOT ON TV. I am cracking up because some websites are mad that he's not Number 1. Well...I'm sorry....but before I got completely obsessed with a tween vampire saga, I was the number 1 fan of a little show called SUPERNATURAL, baby. (Which hasn't shown a new episode in three weeks and I'm getting a little impatient, yall.) And you know who came in at Number 1 on said list? That's right...m'boy JENSEN ACKLES. Pretty much the most beautiful person on the planet. I have no complaints and I'm sure Rob Pattinson doesn't either. Maybe the paparazzi will leave him alone for a few days (but I doubt it.) And frankly, I can't feel too sorry for him. Who knows if the media is BSing when they say he's so upset about his lack of privacy that he's ready to return to England. As if THAT would do any good. They're ruthless there, too. Either way - I can't imagine anyone couldn't put up with some photogs in their face to a) make the money this kid is making and b) shoot up the ranks of Hollywood hotties so fast over one role. And - let's be honest - how important is a list that JEFF FRIGGIN PROBST is actually on? Seriously people. Let's put this in perspective!

Always with the Questions!

I love this graphic. I got it from someone called "DaytonHawk" on the sodahead website....where he/she was saying Harry Potter dorks have less questions than Twlight dorks. Clearly, I am a self-professed Twilight dork. I could keep this blog up for two years with the questions that pop into my mind on a daily basis....

OK more questions...

Does Twilight make you want to go to the Pacific Northwest? It makes me want to jump on a plane. Sadly, I have only been out there once - to Seattle - and I absolutely loved it. Friends who live there told me I picked the greatest two days of the year, as it was sunny the whole time I was there.

Where does Jacob get money? He doesn't have a job. His dad doesn't have a job. His sister is in college.

As far as the movie goes - I have been wondering why Jasper's hair is so long, because he was a soldier. But I was forgetting he was a soldier in 1863. I couldn't figure out why he didn't have short hair because I am assuming they all have the hair they had when they were turned. That's how it usually works with vampires. Look at poor Vampire Bill from True Blood. He's stuck with his Civil War soldier hair and his pork chop sideburns for the rest of his un-life. Even when he was burned beyond recognition by the sun, he still phased back together with that Civil War hair. So Jasper's hair is pretty consistent with the time period in which he was turned.


OK so here's something... I just read one one of the (millions of Twilight) blogs and someone was saying Edward's mother knew Carlisle was different and begged him to "save" Edward, knowing it would not be the usual saving. I didn't get that. Did you? I pretty much took the story at face value and didn't do much digging to satisfy my own sadness that Carlisle changed a 17 year old, rendering him powerless to his own self-loathing he'd experience when he met Bella. To say his mother knew Carlisle would turn him? I don't know. I think that's reaching to make yourself feel better. But who knows - I might have misinterpreted the story, which I've done frequently in these books - ie - not even realizing Jacob imprinted when the story was presented to me. Duh.

From Purgatory to HELL

Sigh... I finished "Midnight Sun" - well, at least the rough, unfinished draft. I have some CHOICE WORDS for the MORON who floated the draft to someone he/she shouldn't have....because NOW we don't even have Edward's version of THE FRIGGIN MEADOW scene, let alone the baseball game, dance studio or prom. I was hoping upon hope we'd get to that point...but alas; it was not to be. Edward sped away in his car, leaving Bella breathless and "dazzled" as usual...and we didn't even get his version of their first kiss. It's almost criminal. Oh wait - leaking a rough draft of a partial copy of a manuscript IS CRIMINAL.

At any rate, I can only hope Stephenie Meyer is somewhere right now, typing away, and giving more life to Edward Cullen than ever before. It is my opinion that Midnight Sun is better than any of her other books. I want to tell her not to worry about a few silly typos....as if they could ever make a difference when one is reading Edward Cullen's painfully raw thoughts. Hardly. That rough draft was absolutely beautiful....and she doesn't even know it.

The End is Near

I am on page 245 of 264 of the rough draft of Midnight Sun....and am starting to get depressed, knowing once it's over, Edward is gone. I think I better hold off and read the rest in the morning, so when I finish it, it won't seem as depressing. Things always seem worse at night, don't they? There is no way I could avoid reading it though...if the opportunity arises this evening. I am inexplicably drawn to this character....the way Edward's character is drawn to Bella. I have no way of fighting it or rationalizing! Just read read read. It's maddening. If someone - anyone - can get through to Stephenie Meyer - please let her know she must keep writing Edward's side of the story. She is right up there with Jane Austen as far as I am concerned. And Jane Austen's library is complete. But Stephenie Meyer's doesn't have to be! She should have an ego the size of the Good Year Blimp right about now. I wonder if she realizes how much we're all counting on her to bring Edward back to life.

Sigh...Melt...Sigh...

He put her lemonade lid in his pocket. HE PUT HER LEMONADE LID IN HIS POCKET. As a SOUVENIR. Holy shizzle. That's almost as bad as me trying to steal John Taylor's water bottle off the stage after a Neurotic Outsiders concert because he had a cold... and I wanted to catch it.

OMG

"My life was an unending, unchanging midnight. It must, by necessity, always be midnight for me. So how was it possible that the sun was rising for me now, in the middle of my midnight?"

~Edward Cullen - upon sitting in Bella's room for the first time, hating himself for being a "monster" and suddenly hearing her call his name in her sleep.

My god, Stephenie Meyer is a genius.

Whoops - Missed it!

SPOILER ALERT - Do not read unless you have FINISHED Breaking Dawn!


So I just lent Breaking Dawn to my friend Ellen at school. She had this look in her eye... a look you can make out across the parking lot... one many of my friends have had lately. That scared, slightly deranged look that says "I've finished one book and I can't find the next!" When I found myself in that spot last Friday, I called Booktowne in Manasquan and promptly drove over and bought Breaking Dawn. Problem solved. So what if I could take the family to Surf Taco for what I paid for it? It would be well worth going hungry. And I am thrilled to be able to loan it out and spread the word of Edward.

So before I took the book to Ellen, I flipped through the birth scene a bit, because I knew I'd missed a lot due to my spazziness and wanting to know what happened. It's only too easy to read too fast with a "yeah yeah - Jacob's mad - whatever" attitude when you're trying to find out if Bella lives or dies. And when I was reading, I laughed heartily out loud when Renesmee bit Bella and Edward says "Renesmee - No!"....and Jacob says it was as if he was trying to teach the monster manners. HOW FRIGGIN FUNNY IS THAT?! I was also very impressed with Edward. I don't know that I realized how well he took charge and delivered that baby all by himself. Way to go. I'm thinking the two medical degrees came in handy. That also lead me to think Bella should go into medicine, seeing she's so good at being around humans. Rosalie caved like JFK stadium in Philly once she saw the blood. Whatever- I can't be mad at her for it. She truly came through in the end. I really thought she'd try to keep that baby from Bella once she came around...but she never did. That was tres decent of her.

LASTLY - I never - NEVER - realized Jacob imprinted - until after Bella came around. I originally read that last page of his side of the story at lightning speed so I could find out what happened to Bella. So today I was blown away when I realized "Oh holy &^% - he really did imprint the second he saw her. I just thought he was upset that Bella was dead. DOH! I'm not a smart man (said like Forrest Gump).

Questions

Why does Rosalie "owe" Edward? Carlisle mentions that in "Midnight Sun" while they're running through the forest, hunting together. He's telling Edward that the family will move away with him, if that's what he needs to stay away from Bella Swan. Should I know why Rosalie owes Edward? Have I forgotten?

Wow. I just never realized the level of Edward's torture while I was reading Twilight. Who knew he was flipping out in his mind over the two weeks between meeting her...and saving her at the truck. Unbelievable. And when they had that commentary right afterward - where she asked him to explain how he got over to her so fast....at a later date....and he said "fine" and she said "fine" right back at him. UGH! I mean...I got it...but I didn't "get" it. When you read Twilight, he just seems annoyed. But when you read Midnight Sun, you realize "holy shit - this guy is in PAIN". I also like learning the details about when and how he truly fell for her. All books should be like this! At this point, I'd like to resurrect Shakespeare and make him write "Romeo and Juliet" from both of their perspectives!!

Catch Me I Don't Want to Fall

And I'll always know how to find you...'cause you shine like the Midnight Sun ~ Simon le Bon

As I sit here reading Midnight Sun, I can't help but think of one of my favorite songs from Duran Duran, off their Medazzaland album. (Oops, I said "album". I'm showing my age. Clearly I'm not a teen Twilight fan.) I cannot believe Edward was this wound up over Bella. It's fascinating. He can't even stay in Spanish class, and she's not even in that class! Emmett's so funny. He truly never knows when to shut up. At any rate, if Edward is this captivating so soon after meeting Bella, I can't imagine what he's going to be like when they start flying off to the meadow together. I can only beg of Stephenie Meyer that she continues this rough draft, all the way to Breaking Dawn and beyond. And I thank her mother for making her write it!

Here are the lyrics to "Midnight Sun" from Duran Duran (click to give it a listen). I would LOVE to hear this played in "New Moon" when we finally get to see the hell Edward was living through when he left Bella. Remember when he said it had gotten day to day - and that he'd have been back soon because he couldn't stand it anymore? I can see him lying on a bed with a horribly sad, brooding "Edward look" on his face, with this song playing eerily in the background...

As I watch you flickering slowly
In the shadows nothing to hold
Its as if I don't recall our time before
And would it be so wrong
Not to remember

There are times I look at you differently
Like Ive never seen you before
Funny, after all we've done
You could be someone I don't know at all
I don't know you at all

Catch me, I don't want to fall

But you pull the mountain from under me
Look, I'm dangling up in the blue
And its a cartoon kind of eternity
Before I drop down to you
What am I supposed to do now?

There is something beautiful shining
In the hollow knot of your head
Funny, for a while it seemed to come from the sky
But its in your head
Yes it fills your head

You and I don't always fly
Let me down, I want to fall
Deep into the dark
But I'll come back to you

And I'll always know how to find you
cause you shine like the midnight sun

It's...Complicated.

Damn! I cannot BELIEVE I have once again been SUCKED IN by Edward Cullen. Have you read Midnight Sun? UGH! I heard about it - the stolen manuscript that depicts Edward's side of Twilight. And I thought "Eh - I've already read Twilight - what will make me want to read this? I'll probably just skim it - let's have a look." Next thing I know, I'M ON PAGE 40 and SO upset that I have to go to bed. And that it's not a book I could take upstairs with me and read if I wake up in the middle of the night. The answers coming from this thing are incredible. I almost wish I'd parallel-read it along with Twilight - chapter for chapter - so I'd have had a really detailed sense of what was going on. So far, I'm finding it fascinating that Edward really hated Bella the first day they met, because of the scent of her blood. When you read Twilight, you're not realizing how deep his vampire desires run...and that he hasn't been human in 80+ years. So you end up confusing vampire thirst - for human lust. And then you read Midnight Sun and realize he has zero desire for her as a woman - or person - or human. He didn't even really find her attractive on Day 1. He just wanted her blood. It's FANTASTIC. Completely vampirific, in every sense of the (completely made-up) word. And as I mentioned to some friends this morning, the one thing I missed about Edward through books 2, 3 and 4 was his...I don't know what you'd call it - brooding? His almost evil stare and disposition. So....here I go again. Because this book is BETTER than Twilight. I can only hope we get more from Edward's perspective (with the exception of that little whimpering session in Breaking Dawn). PS - I miss the Cullens. I need a Book 5. From ANYONE'S perspective. Hmmm. Renesmee's, perhaps?

Midnight Sun

I have discovered Midnight Sun. Holy hell...it is delicious. And I'm not even past the cafeteria scene. My god - if reading about Edward was good...you don't even know what it's like to have a free, all-day pass into Edward's head. It's lovely. I don't ever want to leave...

Someone please...

...break me off a piece of Edward.

Another Funny Shot

WHAT is with Jasper's hair?! He looks like Jon Heder in "Blades of Glory"!!

The End

SPOILER ALERT - Do not read unless you have FINISHED Breaking Dawn.

I can't believe it. I finished it this afternoon. I was so intent on finishing today because I couldn't stand the suspense any more. I had to know if they lived or died. So right after school, I set my kids up with a snack, turned on Noggin and disappeared to the family room where I could read - and cry - in peace. Waiting for the Volturi showdown in the clearing was much harder than waiting for the Victoria showdown in the clearning...probably because I knew there was another book after the Victoria showdown. So it wasn't just the outcome of the book; it was the outcome of their lives. When Edward said "goodbye" to Jacob and called him "my brother...my son" I nearly convulsed. That was extremely powerful to me. And more than anything, I was so thrilled to see m'girl Alice come back and take charge of the situation, like only Alice can. She is the most kick ass character I've come across in a long time. I knew she would never abandon her family like that...and I was surprised Edward and Carlisle didn't realize it, too.

This book was tough to get through because I knew it was the end. But I could not have asked for a better ending; better closure. I certainly got what I needed out of the series. Edward's happiness was really my need from the beginning....once his story was revealed and I knew how lonely he'd been for a century. My only complaint was that he was a little iffy there while Bella was pregnant. I wanted to slap him like Cher slapped Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck. "Snap out of it!" I would have liked to have seen Edward have a good cry at some point, and then get the sadness out of his system. Instead of moaning while Bella rubbed his cheek - like a little lap dog. I'd rather he'd lost it and cried his eyes out to Bella (in front of a roaring fire, of course...perhaps while wearing nothing but his Valentino boxer briefs) and then gotten up and punched a wall or something. I just couldn't stand his reaction to her being pregnant. I realized he was upset but come on dude....butch up. OK we've visited this already, no need to rehash it. Anyway - he was so great once Bella was turned, wasn't he? Loved the hunting....loved the cottage...loved how he came around and became "Edward in Charge" again.

I have a lot of googling to do. I've been avoiding all Twilight websites - especially Stephenie Meyer's....because I didn't want anyone to spoil the endings. But now I am ready to explore the books, characters, actors, music, locations, etc etc. I want to take it all in. I also want to read Midnight Sun, which I'm told is Edward's version of meeting Bella. Or at least the first 200 pages or so, until some DOUCHE leaked it to the internet. What a dumbass. We could have had another book by now. But noooo. Now I've got to squint at my computer screen to swoon over Edward in between Facebooking and shopping for new rugs. But, whatever. For Edward, it doesn't seem like a difficult task.

One more thing - here's my prediction. I think we're going to see prequels galore. Hell, you could do a trilogy on Carlisle, alone. How about a book about how Carlisle was turned....and then a book about each of the Cullen children being turned? Except Rosalie. I don't think I'd care. And something tells me Esme's got a powerful story, too....even though she wasn't usually at the forefront in this series.

My sincere and heartfelt thanks to Stephenie Meyer for being such a gifted writer. And for bringing such a wonderful story into my life at a time when I really needed something to come in and stir things up a little. I am forever grateful....

Kindof Funny Picture

Look at this funny picture. There are so many comments to be made. Remember when Esme had no face on Grey's Anatomy? Something tells me she has traded up from Justin Chambers. Not that Alex isn't cute but come on. Carlisle? Smokin'. Now look at Rosalie. Hello? Most beautiful woman in the world? Seriously? If I could get past her Members Only jacket for five seconds, I might be able to see more clearly. And I'm thinking my hair looked like that at my 8th grade graduation. Alice, I've got to give props to. She's adorable and still quite possibly my favorite character in the series. OK now we have Jasper. One word. ROFLMAO! What's with the 'do?! It looks like my Dorothy Hamill in the 4th grade! OK let's move on to Emmett, shall we? Totally adorable, but I like him with his blonde hair much better. Guess they had to dye it for the film. And last, but furthest from least, we have Edward. Sigh. Wince. Cover your heart in pain as if someone threw an arrow through it while you were sitting at the table, minding your own business and eating your grilled cheese. He's not exactly "my Edward" in this picture, but close enough.

Breaking Dawn, Indeed!

SPOILER ALERT - DO NOT READ unless you have reached chapter 23 "Memories" in Breaking Dawn.

All is right in my world. I am happy. I can now put the book down for short periods. Last night, after the kids went to bed, I curled up on the couch in the living room with a blanket, far away from the noise of the TV in the family room. And I read like there was no tomorrow. I read the last of the annoying "Bella on the couch " scenes. I read the last (I hope) of Edward's annoying worrying. And then the roller coaster started all over again. WHAT A FRIGGIN RIDE! The birth scene was unbelievable. I can only imagine what that will be like on the big screen. I actually cried for Bella, thinking she was really dead (and not "undead") when Jacob was saying she was dead. Going forward, into her new life, I absolutely LOVED how Bella's words started again as she was being made vampire. I loved the burning and her not being able to move. I loved her waking up and thinking Edward was 10 times the kickass hottie we all already know he was in the first place. I loved reading about the dust motes and the particles of light and everything she was taking in. And I even loved the hunting, which was something I really didn't know if I'd be able to handle. It's all been done so well. OK I was a little bummed that there wasn't a serious "bodice ripping" scene (as my friend Linda calls them) in the woods, but I got over it. It happened in my mind, and that's really all that matters, I suppose. Damn teen novel.

I knew Jacob imprinted as soon as Bella woke up and they said he was still there. What an interesting concept. That is going to be fun to watch. Although I'm no dope; I know there is danger on the horizon. I'm assuming the Volturi will be getting involved - and since Beth said the ending was gut-wrenching, I'm assuming somebody dies. Either that, or the roller coaster is going to get crazy and sad before it ends, happily, I hope? Either way, I don't think I can NOT read this book at the same pace I've been reading since Day 1. I know a lot of people who have said they had to stretch it out, knowing the Cullens would be out of their lives forever once the book is over. But I need to know what happens. Put it this way, I knew the sex of both of my children before they were born. I'm just that person who "needs to know".

What's in a Name?

RENESMEE?!

More like RIDICULOUSME!

Team Jacob

SPOILER ALERT - Do not read until you're well into "Breaking Dawn", when Bella starts to resemble Linda Blair in the Exorcist.

OK - I can't believe I'm saying it, but I'm really starting to cheer for Team Jacob. Talk about saving the day. Even when Bella's at her worst, Jacob comes around cracking jokes and making everyone smile. Even Edward. And on yeah...about Edward. I love the character with every fiber of my being. COMMA HOWEVER. He is truly on my last nerve, laying at Bella's feet and whimpering like my 6 year old when she gets a paper cut. BUTCH the F UP, my friend! He definitely lost a few points for his less-than-stellar behavior through this whole pregnancy nonsense. I realize he's in pain and scared upset and and and....but still. Where's the cocky attitude now, Edward? Where's Mister "I can change my class schedule because the women in the office love me"? Where's Mister "I can drive and run and speak faster than everyone on the planet"? Where's Mister "Hop up and I'll fly you around the Pacific Northwest on my rock hard shoulders"? Nowhere to be found. Gone - almost like when he was gone in New Moon, only to be replaced by a tiny shadow of himself. I say GET UP - beat the CRAP out of Rosalie - tell Emmett to STEP the F BACK - and have Carlisle do what he needs to do. And while he's at it, he should tell Bella to shut the hell up, too. She is a menace to society. Certainly to all who love her. She's torn apart the Cullen family...and now she's torn the Pack apart as well. Is anyone ever going to stand up to her and call her out for the selfish beotch she truly is? I'm thinking no. But maybe Jacob will surprise me even more than he already has. Stay tuned! PS - I want to predict that Jacob will imprint on Leah (or is it the other way around?) but that sounds a little too predictable - and Stephenie Meyer likes to take you to the water and then rip you away before you drink. Wouldn't it be FANTASTIC if he imprinted on Rosalie? Now THAT would be SICK FUN!

Oh This is Not Good

Spoiler Alert - do not read unless you have read Jacob's first chapter in Breaking Dawn.

OK so I got over the wedding night. And now it doesn't seem like such a big deal anymore. Bella's pregnant?

I had gotten to the point where I was loving their honeymoon. Snorkeling and cliffs and sea turtles.... I was totally lost inside this awesome world of that amazing house and the perfect views and even the thought of curling up with a DVD on the huge flat screen. When Bella started eating a lot; I knew. When Bella started dreaming a lot; I knew. And when Bella started puking? Well hell...I knew. But when she started getting a bump and nudges at 2 weeks? Oh that was freaky. It IS freaky, as it's about as far as I got, before Jacob's book started. And at first, I was annoyed. "Ugh - I have to read more about this werewolf world?" But as it went on, I started feeling bad for him and didn't mind so much.

But now I don't know what to expect. And it's a little unnerving. I try really hard to just read and take it all in and not try to predict. But seeing as I'm the most analytical person on the planet; that's not easy to do. Beth said the book would end in a heart-wrenching way. But frankly, I'm already finding this heart-wrenching. Edward and Bella are back and Carlisle called Charlie to say Bella was sick. Is she going to keep this baby, which is obviously vampire or it would not be growing so fast. Right? (Those of you who have read this whole book are giggling at my assumptions right now.) And is she going to stay human? I have a horrible feeling about how this is going to end. I have a horrible feeling that Bella will die or be forced to be separated from Edward...and that will kill me. I'm not in the mood for a Forest Gump ending - so to speak - where Edward is left to raise this child and she is dead. Or I wonder if she'll end up with Jacob for some reason. Will she ever turn? More things that make you go "hmmmm"!

WHAT A LET DOWN!

SPOILER ALERT - oh and BELIEVE ME you will be all KINDS of spoiled. Do NOT read this unless you've gotten to the part WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR in Breaking Dawn - aka - at least past page 97.

Holy SHIZZLE. I am so not happy. I've waited through four friggin books for Edward and Bella to get busy. And then, conveniently, Stephenie Meyer decides to SKIP that part! They go from swimming - to WAKING UP IN THE FRIGGIN MORNING?!? Are you KIDDING ME?!?

You know - while I was still reading Twilight, I asked Beth M. if there would ever be any kissing. At that point, there hadn't been and I was dying for it. Then - the kissing came - and it was lovely. Lots of kissing. Kissing, kissing, kissing. And for the next two books I endured soooo much kissing. And I'll admit it; I wanted more. I wanted it all. I wanted lust and rolling around in the sheets and dirty, sexy, Edward-speak. And what do I get? A BUNCH OF FEATHERS AND BRUISES. That's all. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? I am soooo not happy right now. I KNEW I shouldn't read a bunch of teen books! Don't get me wrong, I don't want a trashy novel with Fabio on the cover. But c'mon. I've endured what - 1700 pages of Edward's pulling back - so that we would get ABSOLUTELY NOTHING on his wedding night? I feel cheated. I might have to go to that sweet woman over at Book Town and tell her I want a refund for misrepresentation. WEDDING NIGHT INDEED!!!!

Here's What I See

SPOILER ALERT - don't read unless you've read the first few chapters of Breaking Dawn.

I found these photos on some other Twilight blogs (see, I'm not the only FREAK who needs to write it all down). I am reading about the wedding...and just HAD to find something to help me visualize. *Thanks to housegallery.ca, banglesofhope.com and fanpop.com for the photos.

How I'm visualizing Bella's dress and ring:
















And here, is a STUNNING picture of "Bella" and "Edward":

Question

If the Volturi are so serious about following rules, then why did they drag those 40 or so people down into the bowels of their dwelling to slaughter them? Remember, the woman carrying her rosary beads? And Bella started flipping out, knowing they were all going to die? What of that?! That's just one of the things that swirls around my head while I'm trying to concentrate on reading.

Breaking Dawn

Breaking Dawn is in my possession (thank you Book Town in Manasquan!) and will be started this evening. First I have to go to Mary Kay's and have a glass of wine and discuss books 1, 2 and 3 with Beth, who has read them all. In code, of course, since Mary Kay hasn't yet read the series....and is looking for Twilight. The waiting list at the library is akin to an American Idol audition line.

A few words about the end of Eclipse: When Edward took Bella into that clearing and tried to do the deed, CAROL STARK was the person showing the most restraint because I was having a heart attack! Wow that was very cool that he was willing to throw away his "virtue" because it was what Bella wanted. And props to her for turning him down. That was the first thing she's done that has made me proud of her. I am ridiculously stoked for Breaking Dawn. It's going to be a nail-biting next couple of days.

Jacob Has to Die

I hate to say it. I really do. Everything was going great - Jacob is warming Bella in her sleeping bag and he and Edward are having a great conversation, that shows they don't hate each other. (And Edward is the epitome of class, by the way.) But then Jacob had to go and plant the idea in Edward's mind that Bella would be better off with him because she could stay human. And now I'm flipping out, thinking Edward is going to start agreeing with him and here we'll go again. But let's be honest. We can all see how that would go. If Edward left again, Bella might be OK and might marry Jacob and produce little Jacob wolf-pups...but she'd always wonder about Edward in the back of her mind. Once she was pregnant with baby number 4 and was standing there in her apron, cooking sausage or something for Jacob after he came back from prowling around the forest all night long, she'd be like "What the hell did I do? I could be living it up on the French Riviera with Edward, wearing diamonds and pretending to eat caviar. I must be nuts."

The Home Stretch - Book 3

Spoiler Alert: Don't read this unless you're way the hell into Eclipse and are biting your nails to see what the outcome is.

My head is spinning. I feel like Bella, all out of breath and stuttering. Last night, Edward proposed. (And I was more excited than she was.) That was the sweetest proposal the way he gave her his mother's ring and got down on one knee. When I found out she wouldn't wear the ring I wanted to punch her in the stomach. How could she be so cold? He's the one who's supposed to be dead.

I am at the point in this series where I have no idea what to expect and don't want to even look at people who are reading (or god forbid finished) book 4. I am expecting them to come through this fight OK (Edward and Bella are about to hunker don for the night in the storm in the tent.) But is he going to turn her? Are they going to get married? What's going to happen in the next book? Is she going to die? Is he going to die? Ugh I am a mess. And I don't even have Book 4 yet and I am nearing the end of Eclipse! What's a vampire-obsessed girl to do?!

I am truly anxious about what is going to happen if Edward turns Bella. Will he still love her the way he loves her now? Maybe he's attracted to her life force - and if he turns her she'll be all pale and sparkly. And she's worried about this, too (the first SMART thing to come out of her mouth so far in this book). But I need to chill because she might not even make it past this fight. So....stay tuned.

OH MY GOD!!!!

HE'S GETTING ON ONE KNEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man's Best Friend

Spoiler Alert - do not read unless you have reached page 431 in Eclipse.

OK - is it me? Or is it absolutely adorable that Edward is translating Jacob's wolf-speak before the big mash up? I'm telling you, if I didn't know better, I'd think these guys could be great friends. If Bella didn't exist, that is. It's very cool to watch them interact in a civil way. I hope Jacob doesn't die in this fight. That would be truly sad. I'm starting to really like him - a lot. And in a strange way, I think Edward is, too.

Vacuuming is Therapeutic

I do all my best thinking in one of four places: In the shower....In my car....In Bed....and anywhere I'm vacuuming. So tonight, I'm vacuming the kitchen floor...and I've got my iPod on...and I'm hearing a ton of songs I think would be great for Twilight sequel soundtracks:

The World I Know - Collective Soul - While Bella's jumping in New Moon
7 Year Ache - Rosanne Cash (background - maybe during the street/bar scene in New Moon)
A letter to Elise - The Cure - Ugh - anywhere Edward is sad. It will make you cry.
Pictures of You - The Cure - Even better than A Letter to Elise - this IS Edward:

Remembering you falling into my arms
Crying for the death of your heart
You were stone white so delicate lost in the cold
You were always so lost in the dark

Lonely in your Nightmare - Duran Duran - self explanatory!
Creep - Radiohead - Whenever Bella's feeling less than adequate.

I heard In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins three times today. So maybe I'll throw that in somewhere for good measure.

And back to the subject of Bella feeling inadequate. It finally hit me tonight - while I was vacuuming - that THAT is what all of these books are about. The fact that Bella thinks her life is boring - and her gravitational pull to anything exciting - aka The Cullens. Edward's just the icing on the cake, because he's so gorgeous. But does she really love him like he loves her?

So - I'm thinking about all of this - and it's hitting me - oh my GOD, what if it's all a dream? What if Bella's conjuring all of this up in her head, whether she's asleep or awake? Maybe Edward really exists - but he's a normal guy - and while he was out of school for a few days, after her first day, she wrote all of this down in a journal or something? It could happen. How I would LOVE it if - at the end of book 4 - she wakes up, goes to school, and Edward sits down next to her in Biology. He winks at her, then takes a big ol' bite of his apple. And chews and swallows. :)

And PS - holy CRAP - Broken Hearted Savior from Big Head Todd and the Monsters just came on my iPod. (Lead Singer Todd Park Mohr has some Native American in his background). This song IS Jacob:

And I love her yet
She has done me wrong
Can I bring her back
She has been long gone
And I'll always be her
Broken Hearted Savior

Sigh. I truly would do anything to soundtrack a film. Maybe I need to write my own....

LOL

I. Love. Emmett. That's all...

Get to the Good Stuff

SPOILER ALERT - do not read unless you have read up to page 245 in Eclipse.

I am finding myself skimming. And I loathe skimming because I might miss something I need to know. But I am up to the part about the Bonfire (you know, where selfish Bella leaves Edward to go sit around with Jacob and his friends). And I'm finding it really hard to concentrate on these werewolf stories because I'm worried that she's late and Edward is getting upset. I came to a conclusion this morning, which is that she doesn't truly love Edward. If she did, how could she possibly put him through this anxiety? And why would she want to? You remember how it was 15 million years ago when we were all seniors in highschool and dating. If you had a boyfriend, you spent every waking hour with him. You weren't out prowling around in La Push, hoping for a hand squeeze from a wolf with a temperature issue. Remember that feeling of "oh my god I have to see him RIGHT NOW". She doesn't have that with Edward. At least not like she used to. I can't help but think if she truly, really loved him, she'd be over at his house laying around on his black leather couch, listening to music and staring into his liquid gold eyes. (Preferably Duran Duran's "Tel Aviv" off their first album, but hey, that's just me. Take a listen if you get a minute, and think of being on the couch with Edward while doing so. You'll swoon.)

Bella the Bozo II

SPOILER ALERT - do not read unless you have gotten to page 167 in Eclipse.

I have had about as much as I can take of this dopey girl. As if I wouldn't LOVE to have a sleepover with the Cullen chicks? How much fun would that be?! My best friend, Alice would be painting my fingernails in addition to her offer for a pedicure because I'd be so overjoyed SOMEONE was doing them. And then I'd ask her to do my hair and let me try on her clothes, too! And why? All because my beautiful, brave boyfriend, Edward wanted to keep me save from big, bad, hairy, nasty warewolves. And if all that wasn't enough to get me completely stoked, when I walked into his room and found that he had bought me a huge BED when he doesn't even sleep, himself? Oh my god I'd be beyond verklempt. Especially when Edward had done all of that - including buying his sister a car - to keep me safe. All so this sweet and loving almost-110 year old man could get a bite to eat in peace. But don't expect Bella to be happy. Noooo. All she did was whine, bitch and have the UNMITIGATED GAUL to sleep on the COUCH instead of the gorgeous bed my boyfriend - I mean Edward - bought for her. I'm disgusted. Again. With Bella. Someone should just throw her ass in a flannel, marry her and make her live in a van down by the river - just like she's always wanted. Beotch.

PS - Great quote for today:

"Yes, because a vampire sleepover is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior."

Oh how I HOWLED at that comment right out loud in my car in the school parking lot.

Twilight Trailer Spoof

Click here for a spoof of the Twilight Trailer.

Oh my god this gave me SUCH a howl. Pun intended. It gets funnier as it goes along. Enjoy.

More Bella Antics

SPOILER ALERT: Do not read unless you are at least 100 pages into "Eclipse".

Dear Bella,

Are you a complete moron? Edward goes away for five minutes and you trot your ass up to La Push? If you paid a little more attention in school, instead of passing notes with Edward (who has delicious handwriting), you'd have learned what the meaning of the words "bad idea" is.

Love,
Carol

That is where I stopped reading last night. Dopey is up at the beach with Jacob, telling him she misses him. Alice can't "see" her, Edward is out hunting and her car is on it's last leg. She is so going to break down in that jallopy on the wrong side of the line and no one will know where she is. Except maybe Victoria.

I am burning with questions. Questions I can't ask my friends who have read all the books because something will surely slip out, even when they don't mean it to. One little smile... or raise of an eyebrow...and I'm in big trouble. I analyze everything. Beth told me she's "in mourning" over the end of the series...but I keep wondering if that has a double meaning.

One question I have - and it's a doozy: Is Edward still going to want Bella if she gets made into a vampire? Is she going to smell the same? What if she doesn't?! What if he's like "ahhh...yeah...ya know...I'm going to have to go ahead and blow your new vampire ass off...mmmmkayyyyy?" Then she'll be screwed. I can't see it happening - but I just don't know that she's going to have the same allure if she's made vampire.

Things that make you go "hmmmmmm"...

Bella the Bozo

SPOILER ALERT - Do not read unless you have finished New Moon.

Is Bella the biggest moron on the planet? She finds out Edward's alive. Then she finds out he still loves her. Then he proposes. AND GIRLFRIEND SAYS "NO"? Is she KIDDING? Actually, she didn't say "no". She just whined "That's not high on my list of priorities". Hmmm. Gee. Let's think about this. Edward. Proposes. Marriage. I'd have grabbed his hand and thrown him in the car and booked a flight to Vegas on the way on my cell phone. But nooo...Bella has to be a kook. She so doesn't deserve him.

A few observations:

Maybe Alice was the hallucinations since she was always seeing what Bella was up to. I just can't see how they could have been hallucinations when they were giving her warnings she wouldn't have known about....like telling her not to get Jacob riled up or he'd turn. How could she know that? That was before she saw him do it.

I love Alice. Love love love love Alice. When Bella collects the whole family to get their vote and Alice is smiling at her before they even sit down, I almost jumped up and down. I totally want to be friends with this woman, and she doesn't exist. Which, I suppose, is only slightly less sane than wanting to live for eternity with her vampire brother, who also doesn't exist.

Why is there so much talk of what Bella cooks Charlie for dinner?

I love the way you can figure out how Stephenie Meyer's brain works in certain instances. When Edward calls and Jacob tells him "he's at the funeral"?? BRILLS. Absolutely brilliant. You know Stephenie M. was like "Hmmm..I have to really drive the point home that she's dead. I know - I'll have him call and be told Charlie's at the funeral. But whose funeral? OK - I know - I'll kill off one of his friends. Perfect".

I must see the movie to hear all this snarling going on from Edward. Does he do it in the movie? I love it. Absolutely love it. And if she wants him to turn her, why doesn't she just jump on him and get busy? He'll turn her in a second!

Speaking of Edward turning Bella. I don't know why but I was VERKLEMPT when he told her he'd actually turn her, himself. I've been thinking about this and thinking there is no way I'd want to be turned by anyone BUT him. So when I read that today, I was beyond happy. (Again - these people don't exist. Carol, the asylum called, they're saving you a bed.)

OK - if yesterday was Edward-fest on the radio, today was Jacob-fest, and I don't even really like him all that much. Check out these tasty tunes I heard today that would be perfect for New Moon soundtrack:

How Far is Heaven - Los Lonely Boys
Hole Hearted - Extreme
Circle - Big Head Todd and the Monsters (OK this one was on my iPod so it doesn't count in the "weird coincidence" department)

Actually - anything from Big Head Todd would work. Also - two more:

Million Miles Away - Plimsouls
Return to Innocence - Enigma

Hollywood should be ringing my phone any minute. While I'm waiting, I think I'll get started with Eclipse. :)

The Sun Always Shines in Volterra

SPOILER ALERT! Do not read any further unless you have almost finished NEW MOON!!!!

Wow. I have been reading like a maniac tonight. Edward and Bella and Alice are in Volterra, dealing with the brutes in the bowels under the city....and I'm just so happy Edward and his sarcastic ass is back in business. And dopey Bella is still thinking Edward tried to off himself because of guilt. Her self-esteem is worse than mine! I have to say that I cannot WAIT to see this movie and I haven't even a) finished the book yet... or b) seen the Twilight movie. Oh and one more thing - I am just so happy to be away from the Jake storyline, even for a chapter. My god it was getting exhausting, trying to get through it without skimming. WHOO HOO - Edward is back and all is right in my world!

A Little Help Over Here Please....

I cannot fathom for the life of me how Edward could leave Bella to fend for herself at the meadow with Laurent. I'm getting thoroughly annoyed with him. Yeah, that's it, Buddy....just whisper in her ear a little. That'll do the trick. NOT. She's lucky he didn't rip her to shreds. And now Victoria's coming for her - if Sam and his "gang" doesn't rough her up, first. And ALL of this is Edward's fault - or at least his family's, to some degree, since she had ZERO vampires after her before she met them. And where's Edward? He's nowhere in sight! I can understand the whole "I have to leave you to protect you" thing....sure...whatever. But Hello? She's clearly NOT protected. So get your ass back here and HELP ya stunningly beautiful piece of shit!

The Edward Mix

First off - I really don't have "too much time on my hands"! (I can hear Jen L. laughing from here.) I used to have a job where I was on a computer all day...and I guess old habits die hard. Being on the computer for 5 minutes here or there, in between cleaning the breakfast dishes and getting on the treadmill is not an odd thing for me. It keeps me from feeling like I've given every last piece of myself to the never ending world of Mommying.

NOW - on to my point - this morning has been like an Edward-fest on my car radio. Seriously. I've always thought I'd have been good at working behind the scenes at a film studio, putting music to soundtracks...and today is no different. Check out the tuneage I've been lucky enough to hear this AM:

The One Thing from INXS (do you remember Michael Hutchence - god rest his beautiful soul - being all hot and vampirific in the video? Enough said.) Check out these lyrics!!

The Sun Always Shines on TV from A-HA. Just a beautiful song. Starts out slow but works its' way into a quick and desperate pace. It is quite an 80s symphony of sorts... and has Edward written all over it from the ethereal music to the friggin amaging lyrics.

Here's a taste:

I Reached inside myself
And found nothing there
To ease the pressure of
My ever worrying mind
All my powers waste away
I fear the crazed and lonely looks
The mirror's sending me
These Days
Please don't ask me to defend
The shameful lowlands
Of the way I'm drifting
Gloomily through time

Talk of the Town from the Pretenders - See previous post.

Fortress Around Your Heart from Sting Holy CRAP listen to these lyrics:

"If I've built this fortress around your heart
Encircled you with trenches and barbed wire
Then let me build a bridge, for I cannot fill the chasm
And let me set the battlements on fire."

I'll admit it. I am a sickening, gushy, over-the-top romantic at heart. It's hard to believe, seeing as I actually told Tom not to get me flowers this past Valentines Day. I'm extremely internal about it - and find the desperate much more interesting than the A-OK. And yes - I'm a bit obsessed with these silly tween books. But you know what? I'm a desperate housewife. And I could be doing all sorts of things to fill up my time that would be a lot worse than getting a little over-excited about a few vampire novels. And I know that when I'm all finished these books, life will go back to being somewhat ho-hum. Until Vampire Bill comes back in the Spring, that is. God bless HBO. ;)

Strange lyrics

After doing another under-the-covers blitz read this morning, I totally have Bella and Edward on the brain. (Obsessed, party of 1?) So when I heard "Talk of the Town" from the Pretenders on the radio this morning, I thought the lyrics were pretty interesting:

Such a drag, to want something sometimes
One thing leads to another I know
There was a time I wanted you for mine
Nobody knew
You arrived like a day
And passed like a cloud
I made a wish, I said it out loud
Out loud in a crowd
Everybody heard
It was the talk of the town

Its not my place to know what you feel
Id like to know but why should i?
Who were you then, who are you now?
Common laborer by night... by day highbrow
Back in my room I wonder, then I
Sit on the bed, look at the sky
Up in the sky
Clouds rearrange
Like the talk of the town

Maybe tomorrow, maybe someday
You've changed your place in this world


Oh but its hard to live by the rules
I never could and still never do
The rules and such never bothered you
You call the shots and they follow
I watch you still from a distance then go
Back to my room, you never know
I want you, I want you but now
Who's the talk of the town?

Edward's Back! Sortof...

OK so he's not exactly back, per se....but the hallucinations are making me very hopeful. When she heard him telling her to stop in the middle of the street in Port Angeles, I thought "Hmmm...could just be her imagination." But when she heard him on the motorcycle? Fuggetaboutit. He's back in all his glory as far as I'm concerned. How odd that he's a character in a book....and I'm happy to just have a glimmer of him. It's really a strange feeling. And if I were Bella - I'd be riding that bike alone, at midnight, at the bluffs...you get my point. I'd be summoning his ass any way I could. I'd be ditching school and cliff-diving in a blindfold if it would bring back Edward in all his gloriousness. But I have to admit....the Jacob Black stuff is bothering me. I don't want a boy/girl relationship forming there. No way. I'd actually have been worried, if it weren't for him developing a fever and getting sick and so obviously being called into Sam's weird group. My theory is that they're werewolves. And he's going to turn. And Bella's going to be in danger - so our vampire Romeo is going to have to come and save her. And it's going to be SAAA-WEET. And PS - if I were Bella, I don't even think I'd be wasting my time with motorcycles and cliff-diving. I'd have gone straight to Italy and get made - and not like Tony Soprano, I might add. I'd tell Charlie I had a spectacular field trip across the Atlantic - and then I'd haul my ass to Italy and meet that vampire royalty family and piss them off but GOOD. Then I'd fly my own new vampire ass back to Washington State and find Edward. But that's just me.

Heartache

SPOILER ALERT:  I was pretty early on in New Moon at this point...after Bella's birthday party and before all the shenanigans with Jacob. 

This post's title is Heartache. Am I talking about Bella's? No, I'm talking about MINE for god's sake! Edward just left with the whole damn Cullen family. Are they kidding me? As if I am not fragile already from the James debacle. Now they have to go and do this. And I am fighting the urge to pick up the phone and call someone to lament....most likely it would be Beth. I just talked to her an hour or so ago, so that would be really odd...and she might feel compelled to call someone to come and evaluate me. I'm lucky she didn't do that the last time I called her in a panic, when Denny Duquette died on Grey's Anatomy and I was still stunned in my pajamas at noon the next day.

What is with Stephenie Meyer? I have the same love/hate relationship with her that I do with Shonda Rhymes. Why, every time things are going great (baseball game...birthday party...) does something have to go equally as wrong? I don't understand! All I know is that watching Edward dump Bella was torture, watching him get more and more distant and knowing there was absolutely nothing she could do once he did the deed. We've all been there. And now I'm right back to wondering if I should go any further in this series, knowing it's going to be a series of good times and good cries. Kindof the same way Edward didn't know whether to stay with Bella for the same reason. My god Stephenie Meyer is brills, is she not, with these parallels?! All I know is this - I cannot read fast enough to bring Edward back. And when he returns, he'd better leave Rosalie's bitch ass wherever the hell it is, because I want no part of her. Although Bella deserves her attitude sometimes. What is with running for hours after getting dumped, laying down in the middle of nowhere... and not answering when she heard people calling her name? Honey get UP, wipe your narcissistic self off and go the hell home. As I said; we've all been there! (Cue "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow" music here!)

Things I Ponder

I wish I'd started this when I started reading Twilight, because there is so much I've forgotten. Some of it meaningful...some of it completely inane and not necessary for anyone to remember.

For one - stupid question - did Edward drink his coke at the restaurant with Bella? Or did he switch them because she was so thirsty? They were both empty when the waitress came to the table. And how did he eat the piece of pizza at school? (Am I going to find this out later?) Where'd it go? That is such a no no with Vampire lore. But I don't care because it's cool that he did that. And I loved when he laughed his ass off when she asked him if he was going to show up on film when she got her pictures developed (in New Moon.)

OK so yesterday I'm sitting on my bed, after having announced I was retiring to my room to read. Tom was at the gym and the kids could have been painting the lyrics to Personal Penguin on my living room wall, and I wouldn't have cared, as long as they were happy and not getting hurt. I was completely immersed. And life was good. And all the sudden I had a sick need to call someone and discuss Edward. But the phone was missing from my room (as usual). So I sat back down and kept reading. But it was all so exciting. There I was...I mean, there BELLA was, watching the Cullens play baseball. And life was so good. Edward was being his usual adorable self...and his mom was being really sweet and welcoming...and it was Saturday afternoon in my house....and I was so excited to be reading this book I could have fallen off the bed. Then...it happened. That friggin James. My whole world came crashing down as I realized the lovely little Stepford Vampire family was running around like mad, trying to save Bella. It was exciting - but I wanted none of it! I just wanted happy happy happy! And instead, I got Bella locked in a Phoenix hotel room with Alice and Jasper. Hello? NOT what I was expecting. No Edward? Oh I don't THINK so. And what's killing me now is that Beth tells me Edward is barely in New Moon - and I've just started reading it. So now I sortof see it as something I have to "get through", just to get to the third book, the title o which completely escapes me.

I just finished reading about Bella's birthday, where she's all BITCH FROM HELL because the Cullens dared to have a party for her. "Waaaahhhh poor me...my gorgeous, wealthy, adoring boyfriend's blood-sucking family is paying attention to me....wwaaaaahhhh". And at the end of the chapter (coincidentally entitled "Party") she gets a paper cut (dope!) and Jasper lunges at her. If I were her, I'd be running at him and shoving my hand in his mouth. Hmmmm.....let's see.....it's between getting old and wrinkled and in need of Botox....or being an 18 year old, living in ecstasy with Edward for the rest of eternity. YOU DO THE MATH. So anyway - I put the book down (because I had to pay a little attention to the sharks at Jenkinsons' Aquarium with the kids - yes, I took the book to read during the CAR RIDE!) and only read the few first sentences of the new chapter. So I know Carlisle is about to help Bella since she fell on glass shards or something. Her clumsiness is getting on my LAST nerve, by the way. Why this family falls over themselves to try to do nice things for this girl is beyond me. I get that they love Edward and blah blah blah. But why does Edward love her? She's so annoying! And self-centered! And bitchy! Hello? The prom thing? Priceless. Boyfriend is putting you on his shoes for god's sake, and you're complaining about it. Someone needs to give Bella a knuckle sandwich and I wish it could be me.

PS - This guy is more how I picture Edward:

I Cannot Breathe (FIRST POST EVER!)

A few (hundred, it seems) friends suggested I read Twilight. First, there was my cousin, Colleen. Then there was Nancy. Then Beth, Ellen and Jen. Then Andrea (who lent me the first two books, therefore rendering my washer, dryer, stove, oven and vacuum powerless). Then there was Caitlin at the library...and Chris up the street. Then my cousin Jenn got in on the action, as well as Liz and Kira, via Facebook. And I can't forget my niece, Caitlin, who told me there is a beer bong at Rowan University which is lovingly referred to as "Edward Cullen" and those who use it must refer to it properly. Everyone seemed to be in on this Twilight madness....and I was too weak to resist. I have finished the first book, and have just started "New Moon" - and have this nagging need to talk about it. With anyone. Even my computer. So....without further ado....these are my thoughts on Twilight and the books that follow....as I read them...